Lessons Our Parents Should Have Taught Us
As my son’s grow up, I realize my time with them is limited.
I start to wonder whether I’ve done enough as their father or whether I’ve done too much.
I begin to ask myself whether I have:
- pushed too much
- been there for them
- challenged them enough
- told them I love them enough
No matter what we do as parents, it will never be enough and it will be too much.
How our children receive and interact with our love is not our decision to make and we need to realize that and be gracious with ourselves as we continue to try to improve.
Here are some of the lessons I’ve picked up that I want to communicate to my boys before they leave the nest:
You Are Enough
Have confidence in yourself.
Be proud of who you are in this moment.
You are enough, perfectly enough, right now.
There is absolutely nothing you need to change, for anyone.
You Can be Better
Despite being enough,
You can always be better.
We can all be better in life.
You can always be growing mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally.
You Can Achieve Your Goals
Until my early 30s, I never finished any major goals I set.
Looking back, it was embarrassing how many goals I would miss.
This continued until I learned how to do hard shit, repeatedly. It is a simple path.
The simple path
- Know what you want
- Understand what it takes
- Do the work. Day in. Day out
If you do this for any tasks consistently as long as possible, you’ll achieve your wildest dreams.
You Don’t Need What You Want
When I was young, I wanted so many material objects.
I grew up poor and thought what I saw on television would make me feel good enough.
Nothing ever made me feel good enough, nor can it.
You are the only one who can.
That is the key to it all:
- Slowing down
- Being present
When you do this, you’ll be able to recognize you’re already enough.
No amount of material objects will impact that and you can let go of the wants.
You Are Your Best Investment
Every day, set a goal to tick the boxes on how you’ve grown:
I set a goal to go to bed every single night better than I was when I woke up.
A realization is that if you grow these ways, your financial goals will take care of themself.
Financial Independence is Simple
It is not easy to achieve. It takes a lot to achieve, but the formula is simple:
- Earn more
- Spend less
- Invest the rest
Most of financial independence focuses on the bottom line,
But, growing the top line is the key to achieving your life desires.
Too many people in the financial independence community are negative on leverage.
If you want to achieve high levels of wealth, leverage can be your best friend.
It allows you to buy real estate and grow your equity tremendously.
Understand these Financial Rules to get ahead.
Buy More Real Estate
Real estate offers an unparalleled path to wealth appreciation:
- Principal paydown
- Asset appreciation
It does all of these while being tax efficient.
Through time, there’s no greater way for you to grow your wealth.
If your children can purchase real estate when they’re young, they’ll have wealth when they’re older.
Freedom > Money
The freedom to choose what you want to do in life is what we’re all seeking:
What you want to do.
Where you want to do it.
How you’d like to approach it.
Whenever you would like to do it.
This is the freedom we all seek in life.
When your children know this young, they’re less likely to spend their life in the pursuit of money.
People > Material Objects
The right partner.
The children you have together.
Your siblings, parents and friends.
These are what matter in your life, not the things you collect.
Keep those close who are positive and support you. Let go of the rest.
There Are No Limits
Growing up, I would never have imagined what I’ve achieved.
We were lower-middle class. I was a poor student & never felt good enough.
I also realize I’ve only touched the tip of the iceberg – much more is still to come.
You simply need to believe in yourself.
You need to understand how your mindset gets in the way.
You need to realize that you can change your mindset. Your beliefs.
Our thinking is flawed.
We are what we think
Our thinking is flawed
- We can fix our thinking, here’s how:
- Shadow work
- Cognitive behavior therapy
Do the work to understand & fix your thinking.
When we’ve done the above, the sky is the limit.
What this allowed me to do as I’ve evolved over the last 10+ years:
- Launch a Podcast
- Write a Fantasy series
- Weight lifting total > 1,000 lbs
Never Stop Learning
We aren’t finished until we stop.
And we’re the one who determines if we stop.
Every single day we can be growing into a new person.
If you want to achieve success in your life, invest in knowledge, each and every day.
Choose Your Room
If you want to increase your intelligence, never be the smartest person in the room.
If you want to be fitter, don’t be the fittest person in the room.
Choose the room to align with your goals.
Find people who’ve done what you want.
Choose Your Circle
The circle you surround yourself with is the circle that will make you.
Surround yourself with people who will push, challenge and support you.
Your circle is either going to lift you up in life or it’s going to drag you down. Choose wisely.
Asymmetric opportunities have a significantly larger upside than downside.
Look for these when investing to achieve outsized returns in all areas of your life.
Here are some things that provide an asymmetric upside:
- Choose to exercise
- Learn how to meditate
- Decide to eat a healthy diet
- Go for a walk in the morning
Let It Go
Whatever you’re holding.
Learn to let go of it. To drop it.
If it happened in the past, you can’t change it.
If it’s fear of the future, it hasn’t happened yet.
Focus, only, on this present moment. It’s all you can change.
Aristotle said, we are what we repeatedly do, Excellence is therefore not an act but a habit.
This is my favorite quote.
Build habits that allow you to become the person you want to be.
92% of people never achieve their goals.— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) March 10, 2022
Aristotle solved this 2,345 years ago.
= Thread =
Be In the Arena
So much of life is won simply by playing the game.
Too many are afraid to take that first step. They’re afraid to step into the arena.
They would prefer to sit upon the sideline and chirp at the people who are playing the game.
Be. In. The. Arena. And, don’t talk trash about people who are playing the game if you’re on the sidelines.
People tell me I’m lucky.
When you do the above behaviors consistently, they’ll tell you you’re lucky.
The truth is, small consistent habits + consistency + time = exponential results.
If you want to be a millionaire,— Clint Murphy (@IAmClintMurphy) January 28, 2023
You need to understand compound interest.
Let me break it down for you:
A high-level summary:
- Have a plan
- Know what it takes
- Do the work consistently
- Increase earnings
- Mitigate lifestyle creep
- Diversity & simple investment
- Have a budget
- Create a cashflow
- Forecast net worth