Clint Murphy  00:03

Welcome to the pursuit of learning podcast. I’m your host, Clint Murphy. My goal is for each of us to grow personally, professionally, and financially, one conversation at a time. To do that, we will have conversations with subject matter experts across a variety of modalities. My job as your host, will be to dig out those golden nuggets of wisdom that will facilitate our growth. Join me on this pursuit. Today’s guest Brad Ritter joins me to talk about unlocking your potential through purposeful diversity. And he’s the first guest I’ve had who walked on a treadmill for the full conversation, a total badass. In his own words, we talk about mastering your inner dialogue, raising your self imposed ceiling and conditioning your mindset to seek purposeful pain and growth through adversity. If you want to achieve more and build your get sh!t down the muscle, this is a conversation. Brad, welcome to the show. It’s great to have you here. Today we are going to be talking about your book School of Grit. Before we dive into that, for our listeners who don’t know you, can you give us a brief bio of Brad?

Brad Ritter  01:35

Yeah, no problem. Thanks for having me on the show too, Clint, looking forward to this. I’m a pretty normal average guy as I like to tell people.  So I’m 43, I’ve been married 17 years, I’ve got two awesome kids, my daughter Hallie, she’s 11 getting ready to turn 12 but going on 16 and my son Brody is eight and born and raised in Indianapolis, Indiana, although a little little bit farther south in Indianapolis now about 30 minutes south in the town of Greenwood. And life’s pretty good man, I don’t have too many complaints, which I’m sure we’re gonna get into later as we go through the book. But I am an entrepreneur, I do own my own coaching business. Obviously, I published the book, but I also have a W2 job too. And I say that because I’m probably like a lot of people out there who might be listening where, you know, they got the quote unquote day job, but they’ve got some sort of passion or something that they really want to do. And, working on that as well. So it’s a little bit about me.

Clint Murphy  02:33

And Brad, for the listeners who won’t see video, we haven’t started publishing video yet. Are you on a walking treadmill? 

Brad Ritter  02:43

I am. I’m on a walking treadmill.

Clint Murphy  02:46

My first guest on a walking treadmill during a conversation. This is awesome. It looks like a great way to get some extra cals in while having a podcast. Absolutely brilliant idea. So where I’d love to jump in on the book, is I’ll read a fun quote from the foreword, and get you to take our listeners through that. And that is “have we gotten soft as a society? I would argue yes, in most cases, it boils down to this. We have built a society and culture of comfort. We don’t challenge ourselves and are okay with settling and being mediocre. People tend to shy away from hard work, they look for the path of least resistance and are attracted to the easy way. You see it everywhere from advertising, promotions, losing 10 pounds in just 10 days, to the plethora of get rich quick schemes out there. People want the magic pill that will cure their troubles, they have lost the joy of hard work, guess what, no one is going to save you. If you don’t like your current situation, it’s on you to get yourself out. And there is a way out. But it’s uncommon”. Now that really encapsulates most of what we’ll talk about throughout the whole book. But it’s a pretty powerful opening section. Do you want to take us through how you realized that in your own life and what you see out there?

 

Brad Ritter  04:20

Yeah, I’d love to, you know, when you take stock of at least and I for those who are listening, I live in the United States so we are high nature, I think somewhat creatures of comfort. So it’s not like I’m talking to you from a third world country or, you know, I’m not in an area where there’s war torn areas. So for those folks, totally different story, but for me and my situation in the United States anyway. I just think we’re in probably the most comfortable generation that there’s ever been. And there’s pluses and minuses with that. It’s great. You know, technology has allowed for so many advancements in everything, right nutrition, medicine, you name it, but also been, what I’m seeing is a disadvantage. Because, for instance, I have young kids at home, and they’re just used to ordering something and something showing up, you know, the next day on Amazon Prime, or you hardly ever find kids that walk to school anymore. And we’re fortunate we live close enough to school where our kids do, but I look around the neighborhood and, you know, everybody’s got golf carts and, and these little gadgets, these scooters, I’m like, whatever happened to just walking or riding your bike, you know, something like that. And I use these examples jokingly, but it’s true, like I have a saying that comfort is a slow death. And I truly believe that. And I live that, that was my experience. So to go farther back, I’m 43. now, as I mentioned earlier. When I was in my mid 30s, I kind of had this realization, it wasn’t any sort of an event, I didn’t go through anything traumatic, or a car accident, or battle a disease or anything like that. I just had this moment where I was literally like the man, the mirror moment, when you’re looking at yourself, and your internal dialogue or chatter starts racing, as it normally does. And I’d had these questions that just kept coming up for years, and they were all around purpose like, man, what am I really here to do? Like, Am I just supposed to work at this job the rest of my life and, you know, build up a 401k and retire to Florida? I mean, that sounds great. But or am I meant for something different? Am I meant for more? And if so, like, how do I how do I get to that point? So you know what, I did actually listen to my voice for the first time. Because normally, I would dismiss it and be like, yeah, that’s good. But I gotta go to work, or I gotta do this. I actually called in sick that day. And I just got to take a mental day right back before, we called those probably mental days. And I did some research, as most people would do, and went online. And I typed in, you know, purpose, how do you find your purpose. And as you can imagine, there was like 27 million hits on Google, I started doing all this research. And at the end of the day, I couldn’t find any, I wasn’t anywhere closer to finding my purpose than when I was started out, I just kind of had analysis paralysis, if you will. But I’m a big proponent of like, I love video. That’s I love interacting with people over video, kind of like we are now. And so I went to YouTube, and I typed in the same thing, like purpose, how do I find purpose? It was pure luck. But in the top 10 hits, this TED talk came up. And this TED talk, I like to ask people like, hey, have you ever seen a TED Talk? Most people raise their hand, by Mike, have you ever seen a TED Talk that changed your life, not too many people usually raise their hands, this one changed my life. And this TED talk was delivered by a psychologist named Angela Duckworth, who you might be familiar with, and she actually wrote the book Grit. And, you know, I mean, she didn’t come up with the word Grit, as she goes on to say, but she’s, she’s probably attributed to like putting grit, full, full face, you know, out there in society and put a definition behind it. So she goes on to say that grit is the, it’s the power of passion, and perseverance over the long haul. And the great thing about grit is it can be grown. And in a lot of her studies, and she studies, everything from people at West Point, to you know, highly stressful sales jobs, to people teaching in the inner cities, you know, really tough jobs, trying to figure out who’s gonna quit, and who’s gonna, who’s gonna make it, who’s gonna stick. And in her study, she she finds that grit is one of the leading indicators and predictors of success in life. And when I read that, I was like, I want some of that. I want some of that. So I went on to her website, and she still has it, you can go there right now, if you type in Grit scale, it’s 10 questions, you could take it in two minutes. And you basically get a score of how gritty you are compared to other people. And I took the test and I’ll never forget it. It’s one through five, five being super gritty, one being little or no grit. I scored like a 2.2. And that was, I think I was grittier than like, 20% of most people that took the test. And I’m very competitive by nature. I always have been. That did not sit well with me. But when I started digging in and looking at the way the questions were asked, it made sense, because up until that point, I was the type of person that would start something, start a project, let’s say especially around the house or whatever, but I’d never complete it or if I had some goal I was working on. I’d move on to the next shiny thing, right like the shiny object syndrome, and I completed very few big goals. Yeah, I’d be busy working on stuff, which, you know, we can all say that, but like, what was I accomplishing, was I finishing those tasks, was I working on them in the long haul? And man that really struck a chord with me. So that TED talk really set me on this trajectory of self development and improvement. And then from there, I ordered her book, read it. And she basically says to, it’s a great book, by the way, if you haven’t read it, and your listeners, but essentially, you can grow grit from the inside out, you can grow it from the outside in. And I just wanted this immediate, like, jump in with both feet. And like, yes, I want some. So I decided to grow grit from the outside in. And one of the ways you can do that is by voluntarily putting yourself in situations or what I refer to as purposeful adversity. And that’s how my book School of Grit was born. So I went back online, and went to YouTube. And I said, I want something that’s just gonna, like rock me, rock me to my core, you know, push me farther than I’ve ever been pushed. And I went onto YouTube. And I typed in world’s toughest civilian training. And this camp popped up, which I’m sure we’ll talk about called Kokoro Camp. And it’s modeled after Navy SEAL Hell Week. And I’ll never forget seeing Mark Devine, who’s the founder of SEAL Fit, an unbeatable mind. Yes, he also wrote the foreword to my book. I saw his video on YouTube, this is the second video that changed my life. And he’s imagine put yourself in this place, you’re out in California, you’re about to get beat down by Navy SEALs, you know it, you’re voluntarily putting yourself into it. And out walks, Mark Devine, someone you’ve probably never met before. But you’ve seen him on video, chiseled, you know, iron chin, he’s got his shades on. And he’s just looking at the class, because the class is just standing there in formation not knowing what’s about to be dropped on them. And he says, rejoice in adversity. How do we grow as human beings, it’s through adversity. Warriors seek out the severest of schools in order to forge their character, welcome to the severest of schools. And man, when I heard that, just the hair on the back of my neck got up and I got goosebumps. And I was like, I gotta go to this camp. Like, that’s me. That’s what I got to do. I don’t know what’s going to happen there. But I’m gonna find myself. So that’s kind of, I threw a lot at you. But that’s how I got up to that point of, you know, going to this Navy SEAL training made for civilians, because I don’t want to be a Navy SEAL. I just elected to go to something similar, just to kind of push me past my, past my limits, you know, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I mean, it changed me.

Clint Murphy  12:44

Yeah, and you call that your crucible moment. So what I’d love to know for that, for our listeners who don’t know what a crucible is, let’s bring them up to speed on that. And then from the time you signed up to Kokoro, would that be the right? So from the time you signed up to Kokoro, and not signed up, you have to apply. What was the process from seeing what you needed to be able to achieve in the application to getting to the point where you said, I can apply for this.  Because the when I looked at it, the PT requirements, I believe we call them that which you had to do a number of times while you were there. Those are no slouch and if you were a 2.2 on the grit scale, you probably weren’t hitting those numbers to start, is my assumption. You weren’t in the shape you’re in now, you weren’t physically ready. So what was that process to get to the start line?

Brad Ritter  13:52

Yep. So your first question there I think, was, you know, what, what’s a crucible and the Marines have actually something called the crucible. I can’t remember how many hours it is, but it’s something similar. It’s like over 50 hours or whatever, where that you’re just, you know, it’s constant movement. But a crucible is just designed to break you down on every level, kind of like what I said earlier, physically, mentally, emotionally, and just seeing if, are you going to quit? Are you? Are you gonna throw it in? Are you going to keep going?  Are you And it’s not just about you, it’s about your teammates, which is another another big thing I wanted to point out there. So a crucible experience, it doesn’t necessarily have to be, you know, just a pure smoke session, let’s say, working out. A crucible experience could fit lots of different things. I just I wanted to make that clarification, you know, death of a loved one could classify itself as a as a crucible experience. You didn’t voluntarily sign up for that. But that happens, you know, and that’s something we talked about in the book is, you know, trying to get ready for the unknown. And, you know, there’s usually two schools of thought with that thinking, Oh, it’s not going to happen, but in reality, we know bad stuff happens to everybody. Or if it does happen, we’re going to rise to the occasion.  What the fallacy with that is we usually don’t rise to the occasion, we fall back to the level of our training, over and over again. So I wanted to talk to the crucible piece real quick. And then you’d ask me that the lead up time to Kokoro Camp. So it’s not like I was a complete slouch. When I read, you know, I was, quote, unquote, in shape, I had at least, I was going to like the Global gyms, like LA Fitness and stuff like that. And, you know, doing my curls for the girls and hopping on the treadmill for 30 minutes. And you know, that that type of stuff. But I knew I needed to completely change that because this was going to be a lot more bodyweight movements, let’s say, because it doesn’t matter how much you can bench press, or deadlift, or how big your, your biceps are out at a camp like that. It’s you and you’re, you’re over time your body is going to wear down, there is no question about that. So it’s just it’s getting your body into a place where it can endure that level of volume. And the lead up for me, I signed up, I officially applied, I think it was in January of that year, and I was going to class up in July. So I had about six months to really do some hardcore training. And I think you mentioned earlier, this was actually an application, just because you’ve got the money to do it doesn’t mean they’re gonna let you in, you actually have to apply. And I don’t know if the application process has changed. But when I went through it, you had to fill out, what are you doing to prepare? And not just workouts. Like what are you reading? What do you What do you do and mentally? Because as you know, and most people out there today, it’s, it’s, it really is meant it’s the mental game, right? Yes, there’s physical things you need to be able to perform, and we’ll address those. But when everybody shows up, they’re all in relatively the same shape, which is pretty darn good shape. And so it’s like, why do people quit? Well, it’s the six inches between your ears. It’s that mental game is why they quit. And I’m sure we’ll we’ll touch on that later. But the application was asking not just like your scores on physical fitness. But yeah, what kind of books you were reading? What have you done for self development? And here’s the big one. Why are you doing this? What What What’s your why behind signing up for this class? Because inevitably, and this can go for any goal, anything you’re working on right now. Literally anything, take it, you’re writing a book, you’re taking a class on this, you’re you’re working out, okay? Why are you doing it? And if you ask yourself, why three to five times, you’ll get to the root reason, the real reason of why you’re doing anything it is that you’re doing in life. And to get through a camp like that. It needs to be intrinsically motivated. It can’t be Oh, so so and so my dad will think highly of me, well, that’s gonna burn off at some point, it really needs to be internally charged. And you know, written by you, because you’re gonna you’re gonna come face to face with that several times over the course of life. And I definitely came face to face with that several times over the course of that camp. So knowing why you are doing it is probably the biggest takeaway I could give you and your listeners,

Clint Murphy  18:37

And so far, our listeners who don’t know what their purpose is, don’t know what their Why is. How do they use the three to five why’s to find that? What does that look like for them?

Brad Ritter  18:51

Yeah, so take, I mean, take anything, take waking up in the morning. This is a great one because I’m a huge proponent of having some sort of morning routine morning ritual that you that you do just about every day, right? I always ask people, why do you wake up? Most answers that I hear are, well, I gotta go to work. Or I gotta get the kids ready. Or, you know, some other example of that. And yes, that’s true. Is that important? Absolutely. It’s important. You got to pay the bills, you gotta take care of kids, so on so forth. But what I’m getting at is what are you doing in the morning to win for yourself? Or another way of saying that is how are you winning the day before the day actually begins? Because too often, we’re reactive right from the get go. Okay, I set my alarm for 5am, let’s say. Do I actually get up or do I hit snooze? That’s the first battle of the day right there. And it’s often times the hardest. Yes, I wake up early, I still hate it. I love sleeping, I love the comfort of my pillow. I love the warmth sheet, especially when it’s winter and it’s cold. So that’s the first battle. And I find that if you can just win that first battle of the day and get up, you just habit stack that with the next Task. And after you wake up, try not to hop on your phone, you know, try not to hop on email and answer, maybe work emails, let’s say, try to spend that time, 100% of that time, even if it’s just 10 minutes on you, whether that’s, you know, stretching, doing some morning meditation, breathwork, whatever. But I’m just a huge, huge proponent of that. And, you know, going back to that question,just being able to ask yourself, why, why are you working out? Or why you waking up? So for me, when I asked myself that question, why do I wake up, it’s not the go to work, it’s not to get to the kids, I wake up so that I can become the best version of myself through my morning routine. So I knock that out. And then then boom, right? It’s go time, you’ve got you’ve got your day’s tasks, and so on, so forth. So it doesn’t, when you talk purpose, that takes time. It’s not like you’re gonna snap your finger and immediately think of it. And for a lot of people, that’s the way I was up until my mid 30s. I hadn’t really thought about it too much like actually spent time in thought, reading, researching, asking questions. It’ll happen, I’m just a big proponent that the answers are inside you. We just got to slow down and listen, like they’re there. But a lot of times, we got to get through all the crap all the muck, all that all the outside interference, right? Because there’s so much going on, get through all that minutia. And the answer is probably there. And it’s been there for a while.

Clint Murphy  21:54

And the morning routine is one of the ways you suggest to the readers or listeners that they can demonstrate commitment, which is such an important part of this journey. Why is it that the morning routine demonstrates that commitment and why do you believe so strongly in that aspect of it?

Brad Ritter  22:17

Yeah, it’s a great question. I didn’t used to have a morning routine. Well, let me rephrase that, everybody has a routine, whether they know it or not, let’s just say I didn’t have a very effective one. Yes, because I used to, you know, sleep in until, you know, the latest time that I possibly could, I had to wake up and go to work. And then my breakfast was pretty crappy, considering you know, it was cereal or whatever. And then, and then I’m looking at, I’m looking at my phone back then it was probably like a Blackberry, if people even know what those are, but you know, looking through trying to see the emails that came through. So I’m already in my mind. I’m just going through the normal the normal morning, but when I look holistically, I’m like, I’m already losing from the get go. Yeah, already. I fueled myself improperly, I am playing defense, I am doing nothing, really, to help myself grow physically, mentally, emotionally. You know, it’s, I’m just, I’m just totally reactive. So yeah, I think it’s the easiest place to start for people. Because everybody does it. Everybody has a routine, whether they know it or not. So I would implore you to take stock of it. See if there’s time. And I think everybody has time, whether it’s 10 minutes or an hour, but see if you can carve that time out to start working towards something, whatever that is for you. You know, it could just be you know, reading, it could be writing, whatever, but carve that time out for you. And just do it for a week. And I guarantee you’re gonna be like, oh, man, this is, this is good. Is it hard? Yeah. It’s hard, because I don’t like waking up early, like I said, but is it worth it? Heck, yeah. It’s like, every time I go to work out, like, there’s lots of days, I’m not motivated. But man every time I do it, and I get that sweat.  Afterwards, I’m like, so glad I did this, like so glad. The will we’re Yeah, I think there’s a good distinction there between quitting and giving up. I tell people It’s fine to quit if you quiting for the right reasons, I’ve quit crappy relationships. I’ve quit. I’ve quit goals, smaller level goals that no longer serve me, let’s say but giving up.  When I’m talking about giving up, those are like the higher level goals. Those are like your dreams, aspirations, your purpose, whatever you think your purpose is.  Giving up on that. No way. You know, that’s something I feel so strongly about. And it has to if you’ve got something that you feel so strongly about, you’re like, there is no way I’m going to give up and quit this. That’s what I’m talking about. So there, there is a major difference between quitting and giving up.  I actually think quitting is a good thing and knowing when to quit. A lot of times we say yes to it to too many things. We just do by nature. So you gotta get good at saying no, or you got to get good at maybe you’ve said yes. And you’re like, again, asking yourself why? Why am I doing this? Well, if you can’t answer it, or if you do answer it, and it’s not a very good answer, it’s like, probably need to evaluate that and, and alter course, and pivot.

Clint Murphy  24:09

So tying into the workouts, one of the important things you talked about just starting, and everyone talks about concepts like the five minute rule, which I love. And we also talked about the importance of not giving up. But there’s that difference between quitting and giving up, which is definitely comes into play when you’re at Kokoro. And so Mark Devine had a quote that said, “Destiny favors the prepared in mind, body and spirit”. And so how does that tie in to this concept of, I will not give up. And why is that so different for you than quitting? And so would you say after going through this process and working your way through it, has your ability or the amount that you say no increased?

Brad Ritter  26:15

A ton, an absolute ton.

Clint Murphy  26:19

And what tools? Like what’s the process? Like, when when something comes in? How do you evaluate it to give it a yes or no?

Brad Ritter  26:28

I ask myself one simple question. If someone approaches me about something, it’s either a hell yes or hell no. Okay. It’s, it’s really that easy. Like, if you ask me to Hey, Brad, are you interested in doing this? If I’m like, Hell, yes. Well, yeah, cool. I’m in. It’s just a matter of time. If I have any, everybody has an internal voice where you’re like, you’ll probably say yes, but deep down, you’re like, oh, I don’t know. I don’t know if have the time or whatever. Just say no. Especially if it’s a hell no. Yeah. And then there are other decision making models out there. I mean, one, one simple one that I use is called the FITS model. So fit s, and the F is does it actually fit your overall mission in life or your purpose or your higher level goals? Okay, does it doesn’t line up basically, is what we’re looking at. “I” is, how important is it? What’s the level of importance of this goal? Because not all goals are created equal? Like we discussed, and the T’s the big one, the T’s one of the big reasons I actually do say no, a lot. And it’s something to really take stock of. T’s time. How much time does this invest? And what does the timing look like? I’ve said no to. I’ve said no to quite a few different things in my life, that I’ve later done, I’ve done at a later time is basically what I’m trying to say. And it’s okay to say that, it’s okay to say no, I’m not going to do it. Here’s the reason why, it doesn’t fit timewise. But I eventually want to do it. You know what I mean? Nothing wrong with that. And then the yes is specific, you know, Can you can you take that goal? Or can you take that job or whatever it is you’re being presented with? Is it specific? And is it scalable? You know, am I able to, you know, say it’s like, Hey, can you take on this project from work? Well, do I have the time? Yes. Am I able to chunk it into a way that I’m gonna get it done. You know, that’s how you need to think about it. That’s a simple little FITS model that you can do pretty quickly as well. I just I usually go with the first one and the first ones. It’s led me on the right path so many times it’s either a hell yes or hell no. And if it’s like, Hell, yes. Cool. I’m interested if it’s hell, no, it’s like, nah. Then sometimes you only have to give a reason. Just say no, no, right now.

Clint Murphy  28:45

Yeah, I love I love that. I heard another podcast and they were talking about a woman who they said she was one of the best life coaches out there. And that may not even be the right term for it. But she one of the greatest abilities she had was just her saying no, and she would just boil it down to simply Thank you and no.

Brad Ritter  29:10

Yeah, it was much more than that. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Clint Murphy  29:14

Her whole thing was like, it’s a no it’s a complete sentence. You don’t need to explain it, throw a thank you on the front and you’re done.

Brad Ritter  29:22

I think everybody needs a no person in their life as well. Because what we all have and I’m guilty of this too, we have these ideas or whatever and it’s just it’s awesome to have that friend or family member or person that you talk to you about stuff and they can immediately tell you like the negative about it like well, no, you might want to look out for this. It’s good to hear that perspective. And then you can decide for not whether you think it fits or not, but man I just I think we need more more know people. You see that a lot with professional athletes too, because they have a lot of money and notoriety and oh yeah, their inner circle is just feeding them they’re telling them Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, No, you need you need someone like us that could just yeah, like, money aside? Yeah, I’ve ever heard like that. Don’t do it. 

Clint Murphy  30:08

You see so many athletes and professionals who earn money at an insanely high level, and then they’re bankrupt, and no one around them tells them no, no one around them says, Hey, yo, by the way, in 10 years, you’re not gonna be making $20 million a year, you’re gonna go from that to zero. So, here’s how we can set it up so that you keep making that money. It’s such an important part of life. And really something that’s a big part of my focus, too. But let’s go back to giving up and quitting. So one of the things you talk about is when you set out for a physical training session or some other form of challenge, there are four things you focus on, so that you don’t give up: your breath, positive self talk, visualizations, or mental imagery, and goal setting. So why is it those four things and what does that look like for you?

Brad Ritter  31:16

Yeah, so what you basically just said, there’s what I refer to as the Big Four of mental toughness, which is something I learned out there at the camp. So this wasn’t, it wasn’t something I came up with. This is something that was taught to me and I now teach it to other people. And you know, could it be a big five or be six or big six? Sure, I’m sure there’s different things you might be able to substitute in and out. But when you’re looking when you’re presented, when you’re presented, or put in a situation where it’s tough, alright. I like to start with the breath. I’m a huge proponent of the breath. And I mean, we’re breathing right now. But there’s certain ways to breathe, that are better, especially in the long run, most of us are mouth breathers. And that’s not actually really a good thing to do. We have a nose for a reason. So you know, being able to breathe in and out your nose. There’s just so many, just science supports that. I mean, there’s books on it, James Nesta wrote a great book called Breath that goes really, really deep into the weeds with it’s very, very interesting stuff. But what we like to say is, if you can control, if you can control your physiology, you can control your psychology, meaning if I can control my breath, lower my heart rate, give myself some time to think, then I can control like what’s going on in my mind, and I’ll be more able to make a better decision. So that’s kind of why we start with breath, especially when you’re in strenuous situations. I mean, think about the last, you know, argument you may have gotten in with a spouse, a child, an employer, an employe.  Chances are, you’re probably holding your breath. I like to tell people that like, next time or next time, you’re in a crucial conversation, let’s say, take stock of your breath, like, are you actually breathing or are you holding your breath? I’d say nine times out of 10, you’re probably holding your breath. And breathing just allows you to I mean, I’m doing it right now, listeners probably hear that, but it just allowed me to think about what I’m gonna say next. You know, it kind of fills that dead air and all that good stuff. So that’s why I like to start with breath. Because it’s something we all do. Most of us don’t think about it in terms of how are we breathing? How can we optimally breathe. And there are obviously breath practices, meditations and stuff that you can do on a daily basis to help with lowering your stress, lowering your blood pressure. That’s one for me, I’ve had high blood pressure for a number of number of years, but since I’ve actually done some consistent breath practice, in my morning routine, my blood pressure has lowered without the use of medicine that’s just from my own life. And everybody’s different.

Clint Murphy  34:08

Can you share, Brad, I’m doing it right now, while we talk, can you share the concept of box breathing and why that one is such an important part of your toolkit? 

Brad Ritter  34:18

Yeah, box breathing was taught to me by Mark Devine. It’s very simple. So if you imagine a box in your head, and we like to go with like a four or five second count, so you’re gonna and this is all done through the nose again. So try not to do this with your mouth open. This is all nasal breathing. So you’re just gonna breathe in through your nose for five seconds, hold for five seconds, and breathe out through your nose for five seconds and hold for five seconds. And you’re just gonna repeat that pattern over and over again. I say do that when you’re first starting off, you know, do it for a minimum of, I’d say five to 10 cycles, but you can get up to you know, doing it for 10, 20 minutes. And then there’s other habits you can put in there like visualization. And it’s just, that’s where it starts getting really cool. And I know we’ve all probably heard of yeah, breathing and meditation, I used to poopoo the crap out of that, like, this doesn’t work. I tried it for years, just couldn’t find it. This is the one practice that was a game changer. And like anything else, I made myself stick with it, it was a challenge, just to see if I could do it.  I said want to box breathe for five minutes every day, for a month, I kept it pretty, pretty small, everybody’s got five minutes. And I learned to love it. And then what I would find is, man, I just, I’d escape into my own mind, or the five minutes was no longer long enough, I wanted to extend to 10-15, whatever. But that’s, that’s the basis of a box breathing. So it’s, it’s pick whatever interval you want. The average is usually around four or five. And it’s done through the nose. So five seconds in, hold five seconds out, hold., love it. Yep. And then there’s another, I’d say I do that every day. And when you’re in stressful situations, it’s going to be a lot harder to hold your breath. I actually don’t recommend it, unless you’ve had some training. But you can do what’s referred to as tactical breathing. It’s very simple. So you’re just gonna take four seconds in, four seconds out, four seconds in, four seconds out, ideally done through your nose. But that’s the way that you can remain calm in, in very stressful situations as well.

Clint Murphy  36:25

Awesome. So then, and I love it. I also do it all day, every day. Not all day. But throughout the day, if I’m in meetings, I’m listening to people focusing on the breath, counting the ins, the outs, is a good way to say okay, I’m so I’m not thinking about what I’m going to say or what’s happening today or tomorrow. I’m just focusing on them. And I’m counting my breaths, and I’m just being here present in the moment. So I love that one. And so the

Brad Ritter  36:53

point clients, sorry to interrupt. Yeah, because you’ve met something there. Yeah, it’s don’t think like, you just got to do this in the morning. You can do it throughout the day. We call those like spot drills. Exactly, like after a meeting. Before a meeting even. So it’s pre standard operating procedure.  On my coaching calls, guess what we start off with, we all get grounded. I tell people to drop their rocks, because we’re all carrying weight, some sort of weight seems like, so put that on the ground. And let’s just get present right here right now. So we all do box breathing right before every call. And it’s awesome. It gets everybody on the same level and present.

Clint Murphy  37:25

Oh, that makes a ton of sense. Absolutely. And so the last three were positive self talk, visualization and goal setting. I took you on a tangent on the breath.

Brad Ritter  37:39

I’m happy to go wherever we need to go. But that yeah, that’s me. It’s that important. So yeah, positivity, as the name states is, you know, positive self talk. I can’t remember what I don’t know what the exact stat is. You’ve probably heard something similar, but we have an average of whatever 50,000 thoughts running through our heads every day. Chances are half those thoughts are the same ones you had yesterday, and take stock of how many of them are negative versus positive? I mean.

Clint Murphy  38:10

98% 

Brad Ritter  38:11

Yeah, we’re our own worst critics. Yeah. It’s I can tell people would you would you talk to your friend, or your loved one the way that you talk to yourself, mentally and internally right now? You know, so really take stock of that. And to prove that point. I hope I don’t butcher this guy’s name. I think it was Dr. Emoto. Are you familiar with his? He analyzed water crystals and snowflakes? Are you familiar with? 

Clint Murphy  38:37

Oh, no, I haven’t heard this one. 

Brad Ritter  38:38

It’s fascinating. So he looked at crystals inside of snowflakes. And he would subject them to positively charged music, or negatively charged music based on the lyrics and stuff like that. And when you look at him underneath a microscope, as you would think the positively charged ones were beautiful, like pristine, just absolutely gorgeous to look at. And the ones that were negatively charged, were discolored, they were ugly, they were all disformed. And why I say that is, as human beings, we’re 70% water. So you got to think the more positively we talk to ourselves, the better off internally, we’re going to be with our own water molecules and particles. And that’s just going to lead to bigger and better things. So yeah, check out that experiment. It’s pretty cool.

Clint Murphy  39:28

Yeah, I’m gonna look that one up. I love it.

Brad Ritter  39:32

So, positivity, and I’m hitting these kind of quicker, sorry about that. And then we’ve got visualization, which is another game changer. And what I mean by visualization is is actually seeing yourself being successful. That starts first thing in the morning. So if you have a morning routine, and you’re waking up and just say you’ve got that five minutes to box breath. We all I have five minutes, like see yourself being successful, see yourself going through the day and accomplishing goals. Or maybe you’ve got a big speech or a big presentation at work, see yourself knocking it out of the park, you know, or you got a big race or whatever that is see yourself doing it, and, and feel what that’s like at the finish line of just knocking it out of the park. You know, it’s what Sun Tzu said, in in the art of war, something to the effect of Victorious warriors first go to war, having thought about winning, instead of just showing up and hoping they win. I totally butchered that. But it that’s the that’s the I guess the idea? Yeah, yeah. The idea. Yeah. So it’s like, before you go to war, like, visualize yourself being successful, and war for us, you know, some, I’m not in the military. I have some buddies who are actually, a few that are currently deployed. So obviously, they’re fighting real wars. But war for us, everybody is going through a war, everybody’s going through something you just don’t know about. And that’s the often times the battlefield of life. So that’s our own versions for for people listening out there, but see yourself being successful. You know, so that’s visualization. And then the last thing I kind of touched on a little bit was goals, like setting realistic goals. So, you know, if you’re gonna go run a marathon, you’re probably not just gonna buy brand new sneakers and go run. You’re gonna set up a proper training program, crawl, walk, run, sort of thing to get you ready to go run that marathon. It’s no different than any other, you know, big goal, whether you’ve got a huge recital coming up, or a huge presentation, you know, scale that backwards, mark it on the calendar, what you need to be doing week in week out to prepare yourself and do that big thing.

Clint Murphy  41:58

Earlier, you were talking about the idea that we don’t rise, we fall to the level of our training. And so we’ve been talking about training and practice. And I love this quote that you wrote, which was “by consistently forming habits of deliberate deliberate practice and pressure testing them for when things go wrong, you can help to bulletproof your mission. Rising to the occasion is just an illusion.” And one of the ways you’ve done for yourself, is you’ve introduced a fun concept in your life called milestone, monthly milestone challenges. What are those look like for you? And how can I or the listeners introduce these in our lives? Maybe not at the same level, but you crawl, walk, run. What does that look like, Brad?

 

Brad Ritter  42:55

Yeah, so that saying we don’t rise to the occasion, we fall back to level of our trainin.  That too is from the military, you’ll probably sense I pull a lot of analogies and stuff from from the military. But it’s so true. You know, when stuff happens, you’re going to fall back to your level of training. Otherwise, it’s just hope and hopes not a good plan. I’m sure as we all know, hopes, not a really good.  It’s important to have hope, not saying that. But you know, if all you have is hope, and that’s your plan, like good luck, like I’d rather know that I’ve rehearsed this, I’ve done some dry runs, deliberate practice, meaning you’re practicing, but you’re getting active feedback, you’re being critiqued by someone, hopefully, that’s better than you and saying, Hey, that was good. But here’s some other areas you can shore up. That’s why, you know, having friends who are in the military, that’s why they train so hard, they tell me often times, you know, getting deployed is the kind of the fun part in a weird way. Because that’s when they actually get to go actually do the real work. It’s why they train so hard, they train. They make their training so hard, because what’s the saying it’s better to, the harder your training is, the less you’ll bleed on the battlefield. You know, that type thing? So, yeah, that’s why I say, you know, rising to the occasion. It’s just, it’s a pipe dream. You know, it’s all about have you trained. I mean, it’s not say, say I had to go give a TED talk tomorrow. Well, if I haven’t been putting in the work, what’s the likelihood that I’m just gonna go there and just deliver this awesome, you know, TED Talk, where there’s millions and millions? Probably not very likely is close to close to zero. Is it possible? Yeah, I guess there’s always that little sliver of hope. I’d rather put in the work to better my chances. That’s right. Yep. Yep. So and then, you know, one of the ways that you can, you can practice this and again, crawl, walk, run, just meet yourself at the level you’re at, is just giving yourself monthly milestone challenges like whatever that is.  So, the easy one that I always go to is working out, you know, physical fitness. So every month, I usually like to challenge myself with some gnarly, you know, two hour workout of some time. Why? Because I love that feeling, when you’re working out to where you’ve pushed yourself, your body’s broken down, you’ve pushed yourself so hard that like, literally all you can think about is just your next breath of air, you’re like, you’re just taxed. And those are the moments I love. That’s why I like working out because that’s when that’s when quitting starts to enter your mind. Or like, why am I doing this? I’m the only one out here, why am I why am I doing this? Why is my crazy neighbor looking at me like he wants to call the cops because I’m flipping this tire, like, but I love that, like, I want to be that person. And I love being in that moment. Because I think that’s one of the ways that you can build mental toughness, emotional resiliency, obviously build your grit, is by putting yourself in those situations over and over and over again, and not quitting, not giving up. That’s just going to be habitual. And it’s going to follow you along to anything you decide to do for the right reasons.

Clint Murphy  46:13

So what’s one of your favorite milestone challenges you’ve set for yourself outside of Kokoro.

Brad Ritter  46:23

So we, in our coaching group, you know, one of the things that you get access to is you get to work out alongside my tribe, my group, so I lead workouts every Saturday morning, and once a quarter, we usually pick something pretty, pretty tough to do. So we actually just got done doing one a couple months ago, we had never done this. And the feedback was amazing. I think I’m gonna make it an annual thing. It’s walking. So just like I’m doing now, your mission is to walk, but it’s to walk for 24 hours straight. So let that sink in a little bit. It’s a you know, a lot of people can walk if you’re medically able to do it. But when’s the last time you walked for, you know, 12 an entire day. You could take as many breaks as you wanted. But the idea was, you know, take a break, eat, drink, take  a nap if you need to, but get back in the game and see how many miles you can build up over the course of that. So you know, we’re just we’re safely pushing our limits to learn more about ourselves.  That’s what I think so much fun, because that’s where you really you know, see what your character is and you learn new things about yourself and so on so forth. We call that the long walk.

Clint Murphy  47:40

And did do the long walk with a ruck or weighted vest? Or did you just long walk?

Brad Ritter  47:46

I just did the walk? Can’t Yeah, it’s trust me. It’s tough enough. 

Clint Murphy  47:49

Yeah, exactly.

Brad Ritter  47:50

You can. Hey, if that’s what you want. You do you. Yeah, we had some people that did. I tell you what made this really, really sweet, Clint is, as I mentioned, I’m married. My wife went alongside me. And dude, the level of conversations we had in the wee hours of the morning, like when it was really getting tough. It was it was amazing. Man, it like took our relationship to another level.

Clint Murphy  48:20

It’s interesting. I know a young guy and young is roughly our age or younger, who did a 24 hour walk last last month. So it’s, you know, it’d be it’d be really interesting, if he was in your group or if it was just coincidental that he did a 24 hour walk at roughly, it was just last month that he did it if I recall correctly, I remember someone sharing something either on Instagram or Twitter for him. The So when you’re gonna flip to a fun time in your past so you’re at an awards dinner for a company when you took on a new sales role. And you got the boss in the hallway. And he only had a couple minutes and you asked a question.  And you said he stopped dead in his track,”looked me square in the eye and said most people when they start something new, it can take a while for them to dip their toes in. Very few jump in the deep end and attack this job with everything they have. My advice is to jump in with everything you have. If not now then what?” And you would ask them, Hey, I’m new here. How am I going to be successful in this role? And that was his answer. Dive in. Take the training wheels off.

Brad Ritter  49:47

Yeah, you took you took me back man. I can I can picture that. So I worked for one of the big three and higher education publishing. I was a brand new rep. This was probably about 11 years ago. And my very first day with the company is at their national sales meeting, and a lot of big companies have these types of meetings and here was an events night so they, they called it prom. But basically everybody dresses up, you know, you’re in like some fancy clothes, it’s an awards dinner. And you’re recognizing the superstars of the company, like the number one rep, the top performers, all that good stuff. And they get to walk across stage give a little speech. It’s pretty, it’s pretty special stuff, like pretty cool. And they get rewards, usually, monetarily. So I just happen to, you know, hit the bathroom on a break. And there’s the CEO of the company, and I’m brand new, you know, we were like washing our hands in the bathroom. And I’m trying to think, what am I? I should say something but I don’t I don’t know what, you know, it’s the bathroom. You don’t want to be weird. So I just, I wait till we walk out. And I said, Hey, you know, didn’t want to bother you while you’re obviously using the bathroom. But I’m new here. New to the industry. You know, what, what advice do you have? And yeah, he gave, he gave that exact answer. Shout out to Brian Kibby. If he’s, if he’s listening right now. And yeah, he said, Most people, when they start, it takes them a while to get going. He’s like, my advice is if you want to be one of those people across the stages, you just dive in with both feet, it doesn’t matter you don’t know what you’re doing, or you don’t know the product or whatever. The key is just, you know, it’s that hard work, it’s getting in, it’s that sort of, sort of that daily grind, and you’re gonna learn, you’re gonna learn a lot about yourself, you’re gonna learn learn a lot about the industry around products, about your customers. And eventually you’re going to become, quote, unquote, you know, one of those top performers or one of those experts, and, and that’s what I did, man. And that is, that is sound advice. Because at that time, I was I was motivated, I was motivated by different things too back then. I mean, money was definitely one of them. And I had the opportunity to MIT to do pretty well, just the way the comp plan was written and stuff like that. And yeah, I cashed in, man. I, I dove in, and that was, that was good. I’m glad that has changed. Because I’m in a different part of my life. Where Yeah, you know, is money important? Yes, absolutely. Do I want to burn the candle at both ends day in day out like I did back then? With a fat? No, no, I don’t. Because there’s more important things. Yeah. So not not to derail that. But yeah, that’s the story, man.  So dive in, just get in go after what you want in the work. Just get in, do the work, believe in yourself. Ask questions. You know, having having worked in corporate America for a long time, like if I had new people working underneath me, and, you know, they were asking me questions all the time. It’s like, alright, are they working? Do they like it? You know, you start you start asking your questions as a manager. So, so yeah, it’s important, man, he just, and for the listeners out there, you know, ask yourself, you could ask yourself that question, what’s the last thing that I pursued and literally put my feet to the fire and jumped in the deep end and just said, Whatever, man, I’m going all in on this. My answers might surprise you. But it’s worth looking at.

Clint Murphy  53:11

100%. And so if taking you back to Kokoro, one of the things the coaches said to all of you early on, was that “you will be successful if you do these three things and these three things only. Breathe, think, execute. So we already talked about breathe.  What about the think and execute?

Brad Ritter  53:38

Yeah, so this is basis, this is so rudimentary. And when he told us that I was thinking, No way this can’t there’s, there’s no way. I tell you what, this piece of advice I use every day, without fail, breathe, think execute. So it’s as simple as that though. We already talking about breathing. So if I’m in a situation, like, right now, you just asked me a question. If I, if I’m trying to think where am I gonna go, I’m gonna take a breath. That breath’s gonna allow me to think, because our supercomputers in our mind can, can can move pretty quick. And then I’m going to execute on that. I’m gonna think through it. So it’s pretty basic. But what he’s really getting at there. And, and what I learned was a lot of us have knee jerk reactions. we’re reacting to something, especially in the moment versus responding. There’s a big difference between responding and reacting. So for instance, if you have kids, and one of your kids spill something in the kitchen, it’s probably pretty normal to have a knee jerk reaction and be mad and elevate your voice and it makes them feel like crap because they probably didn’t mean to do it. But if you take that split second, get a little patience. Think about it. All right, well, it’s just a spill no big deal, then you can come up with a better way to respond.

Clint Murphy  55:05

Yep. So just and my favorite person who talks about this is the quote from Viktor Frankl about the stimulus and response and increasing that gap. And when we can increase that gap, that’s where the magic happens. And so when we take that breath, we think, and then we execute or we respond, we’re really focusing on increasing that gap between stimulus response.

Brad Ritter  55:37

Exactly. Exactly.

Clint Murphy  55:40

And you also talked about applying that to active listening. Is that simply the act of well, I’m listening, I’m just breathing. And then I pause to think before I offer a response, or how do you apply that there?

Brad Ritter  56:02

Yeah, so active listening, yes, incorporates that, I just mean, to just just being in the moment and giving someone you know, the undivided attention, kind of like we’re doing now, you know, I’m not on my email, or I’m not looking at my phone, like I am engaged in this conversation.  100%.  We’re interacting and it’s great, this is great conversation, I can feel the energy, that sort of thing. But we’ve all had those times where you’re on that you’re on that conference call at work. And you’re doing email, or I’ll use one from my own life that I personally struggle with. And you know, my wife comes home, Hey, how was your day honey? And she is a she is gifted, gifted at telling a story and putting in every little detail like what so and so was wearing. You know what they ate for lunch? And I’m not like that, like, I’m very high level, like, Okay, what’s the overall mission? Okay, boom, let’s do it. It’s tough for me to just sit there and actively listen, but I look at those situations. And I just tell myself, this is training. This is training. That’s all it is, like, I need to actively engage and am I perfect at it? Heck, no, man, and she would to tell you that, but I have gotten better. I have gotten better. Absolutely. That’s what I mean by that. I actively, like being engaged, you know, like, showing up, you know, physically looking like you’re engaged. And you know, just just listen. And that’s the other thing too. I was told this by a former boss, we have two ears and one mouth. So just remember that ratio, you should listen twice as much as you speak.

Clint Murphy  57:48

You reminded me when when you were describing how your wife will tell you a story because my youngest son, he you know, Hey, Dad, can I tell you about my day? Like my oldest son? It’s like you asked him and he’s like, good.

Brad Ritter  58:01

That’s how both my kids are.

Clint Murphy  58:05

But the little guy is just like he’ll start with, okay. Well, I woke up and and he’ll take you through every minute of the day. And you’re just like, and you think there’s no way this can go on, and he’s like, and then we had recess. And you’re like, holy shit, we’re only 25% of the way through this little guy’s day. He’s like, Dad, are you still listening? Like, oh, my God, son.

Brad Ritter  58:32

Sure. Especially if you’re like, in the middle of doing something, right? Yeah. It’s like, okay, I thought this was gonna be two minutes now. It’s like 10 minutes. And we’re still going. 

Clint Murphy  58:42

Yeah, I love it the in so I’m going to take you to one of the exercises you were doing and everyone was standing around, confused. No one knew what they were doing. And so the coaches started ripping on you guys, “what, there’s no leader who the hell is going to lead this team of sorry asses”?. And so that made you realize in hindsight, you have the the concept of the seal ethos, “we expect to lead and be lead. In the absence of orders, I will take charge, lead my teammates and accomplish the mission. I lead by example, in all situations.” So how did that look like for you in Kokoro? And how do we, as the listener, apply that concept in our daily lives, that concept of switching from leading to being led and then throwing like a five parter at you, the you talk about recognizing that if you’re not flipping between those two roles, something’s wrong.

Brad Ritter  59:51

Hmm. Yeah, we can start at that ladder if you want. It’s look at any leader, whether it’s at work or we’re all in leadership roles, whether we know it or not. And I would ask, ask yourself, how often am I flipping between leading and following? Because I think it’s just as important to follow in a lot of situations as it is to lead. We all know, leaders, or maybe we have been that type of leader where it’s like, you’ve got to have the final say, or that idea has to come from you. so on so forth, instead of, you know, giving praise to your team, having someone on elevating them up like, oh, no, it wasn’t me, it was part of the team, you know. So that’s what I’m talking about that ladder piece is we really need to examine how often we’re actually in that leadership role versus ollowing, because it’s great to follow, because I’m not gonna have all the best answers, or the best vision or anything like that. So if someone comes up with something, it’s like, Hell yeah, man, I’ll support you. Absolutely. That’s a true team. And then, what was you asked like, four different parts there? I’m trying to think of what the first one was?

Clint Murphy  1:01:00

Yeah. It’s a simple concept of like, how did that seal ethos play into your time at Kokoro and ito your daily life? Like, how does that concept play in?

Brad Ritter  1:01:11

Got it, so yeah, at the camp, it became evident, real early on, and that was one of the first things we were hit with was, you know, who’s the leader? Like, I don’t know. Are you the leader? Am I leader? Well, I mean, I didn’t know there was a class leader. And then we paid for that, with some, some sort of, of movements. And then the question is asked again, who’s the leader? They’re just trying to figure out who’s gonna raise up their hand and step into that leadership role when there’s a void, because every team needs a leader, you need to know where you’re going, you got to have some sense of direction. And that would happen throughout camp. But what happened was, as the team gelled, as we became a real unit, a real team, there wasn’t that void anymore. People, people were actually, you know, competitive with raising up their hand or running over to a spot to say, Yes, I’ll lead, I’ll lead. It’s my turn. Like I want to lead this team. I think everybody deserves a shot at leading because it’s an important skill. It’s important skill to learn, and have the opportunity to do that. And how you can take that into your own life is what I love about like Jocko willing and what he’s got going on those who might listen to Jocko. You know, he talks about ownership, he’s got a book called Extreme Ownership. And that is you owning your life, you owning the situation you’re in, and you take that leadership role. So if you don’t like So, for instance, if you’re at work, and you know, there’s some negative chatter about whatever it is, and this is consistent, right? We know there’s a, we know there’s an issue at work, right? We know there’s something existing, but no one’s owning it. How many times have you come across that in your career? What if, instead of that, what if someone’s like, you know, whoever talks about that issue says, you know, I’m gonna own this, even though it’s not my job. But we know it’s a problem, it can absolutely affect our customers if it’s unaddressed. It could spiral out of control, I’m gonna own this. And I’m gonna, I’m gonna be the leader. And that’s what we’re talking about. That’s an easy, easy one is identifying those opportunities in your own life where you’re like, Yeah, something’s not right. Or something could be spiraling out of control, you know it, because internally, you’re getting that you’re getting that internal dialogue. And instead of me just turn a blind eye, or sitting there and doing nothing, which is what we often times do, I’m gonna own it, and I’m gonna lead. I’m gonna find a way to either mitigate it, go around it, we’ll adapt and overcome.

Clint Murphy  1:03:55

we talked about that at work is a concept of owning the D. So anytime there’s an issue, it’s who owns the deliverable. The D, in making sure we don’t leave that meeting, without someone’s initials on it. So who’s the best person in this room to deal with that? And sometimes that’s you, sometimes you get to lead sometimes it’s Oh, I think Steve will be better at this or Tina or someone else on the team. But it’s don’t leave the room without knowing who’s going to do it, what they’re doing, and when it’s gotta win, when it’s gotta be done. Classic Who What When.

Brad Ritter  1:04:33

Yeah, and spread that out. Right? In that situation. We wouldn’t want just one person owning everything. What we’re trying to talk about between alternating between leading and following. It’s like cool, you got this. I believe in you. I will follow you. I will back you 100% Because I’ve got that trust in you.

Clint Murphy  1:04:53

Absolutely. And switching in a different direction. So you already talked about morning routine, super important. But you also have this concept. And I love the acronym of setting up your ideal day. So what is the acronym? And how do we use that to set up our ideal day? And what does that look like for you?

Brad Ritter  1:05:18

Yeah, so, you know, the ideal day for me really begins at, it’s really quite frankly, just taking stock of any day throughout the week that you got going on. So you know, take a look at your take a look at your day. And it first starts off with taking stock of what you’re doing hour by hour, minute by minute, you know, and you can start off going hour by hour, but I implore you to get a little bit more granular, and just taking stock of hey, we all get 24 hours in a day, am I making best use of that time so that I can operate, you know, at a optimal level? And I mean, write everything on there from, you know, how much are you sleeping to how long does it take for me to eat? You know, how much family time am I spending, what’s my self care look like, including, you know, morning morning routines, like we talked about training, you know, all that stuff, how much time I spend in working, and then I want you to come up with, you know, if I had a perfect day, you know, knowing that I’ve got a, you know, this isn’t vacation, and I can’t just, you know, be on vacation every day. But if I had an ideal day where I knew I had to work, and work out and all that, what would that look like, and then basically, you just you assign time, to all that. And the ideal is actually an acronym, which I break down in the book and I stands for, these are like the super important items, that you feel like you just you got to do as a way of improving yourself. It could be, you know, an online course you’re taking learning to play a new instrument, you know, working out whatever that is. So think of like the important things you want to get done that day. All right, truly important. D is I call it dollars or dinero. So like, what’s your job man, we all have something we do, whether it’s your job, career, side hustle, whatever, got to make that money to support your family and your dreams. How much time are you going to dedicate towards that? E are those essential items, some of them I mentioned earlier, like sleeping eating, obviously, those are essential, I put training in there, physical training, because I think physical training is as important as sleeping, and eating. So those are my non negotiables. Like I’m doing those three, without fail every day, you know, now, the amount of time might adjust depending on what I got going on. But I’m doing those three without fail. The A is, you know, we gotta have some, some flex time in there, right? Because things gonna, things are gonna pop up, you know, maybe you gotta go to the grocery store, maybe you gotta run out, get that Christmas present, you know, with Christmas popping up or whatever. So you want to plan for a little bit of flex time, if we can, picking up the kids to go to sports, whatever. And then L is what I call kind of like low key stuff could be reading, meditation, spot drills, taking a nap, you know, whatever. But essentially, when you’ve identified all these tasks, then you just come up with, you know, what you want that ideal day to look like and you scheduled out just like anything else. So that way, you’ve kind of accounted for everything. And will you hit all that stuff, I mean, realistically, probably not. But if you can hit most of it. And that’s one day, and then you do it another day and you start to habit stack those days on top of each other. Good days turned to good weeks, good weeks turn into good months. And before you know it, you’ve had a pretty good year. And you just keep that going

Clint Murphy  1:08:59

And hat’s one of the keys right there is and, let’s definitely spend a little bit of time on that. People don’t often realize the importance of good habits done consistently over long periods of time. See you, What does that look like for you? And how do you use that to achieve things that people might think, well, that’s almost impossible. 

Brad Ritter  1:09:29

When you talk about a definition of grit, it is something, it is consistency over the long haul. And that applies to everything, everything. Kids sports, you know, how long have they been playing? You know, how long do they train a lot, you know that you can start really boiling that down. You’re getting ready to, I’ll use that example earlier running, running a marathon. Well, are you getting in the mileage? Are you consistently putting in the mileage? Or are you slacking off and on the weekend you’re going out and killing yourself and running the 10 to 13 miles, you know, or whatever it is. So, another one is, here’s a good example too, like, say, and I’ve never done one of these, but say you’re doing like a bodybuilding show. And you know, you got to look good, right? You got to go on stage to flex those flex those muscles. Well, have you consistently been training? And you got your nutrition dialed in? Or are you just going to show up the night before and work out for five hours and say oh, I hope I look good. You know, I mean, like, that’s what we’re getting at, in its infancy. And it’s, it can be tough to see the forest through the trees. I mean, an example from from my own life. You know, we’ve talked about Kokoro Camp. But let’s use the example right in this book. That was five years. What you’re reading right now, five years of blood, sweat, tears, love hate relationship. But when I boil it back to like, how do I write the books, I get asked that all the time. So everybody has a different process. I just put my ass in the chair early in the morning, and I wrote for an hour, whether I got 500 words, whether I got 1000, whatever. That was my consistent practice over time. Did I have weeks, I didn’t write anything. Yeah, I did. In fact, that probably couple months, I didn’t write anything. But it was the consistency over time to where, boom, now you’ve got this, your goal is accomplished. And for me, I’ve got this book that I can always go back to, but it’s not like I just did that in a couple of evenings, like that took a ton of time, not knowing what the end product would look like.

Clint Murphy  1:11:47

And so when you look at that, and I’m gonna use your trees forest analogy. You know, people often start with the forest. And they just get so overwhelmed because they’re like, Oh, I can’t, I can’t do an Ironman or I can’t write a book. And because they’re looking at the forest, they’re not looking at the tree, let’s call the trees the process. And you’re planting one tree a day by putting in your hour of writing. And so over the course of a year, that’s 365 trees over the course of five years. That’s 1500. Well, even more, that’s 1800 trees, you now have a forest. And so when when you’re working with clients, do you really try to get them to pull back from the, and this is one of the reasons I love Stephen Covey, it feels like the seven habits can be the answer to almost everything. Yeah, we’ve got the forest is our end in mind. But let’s pull it all the way back to what’s the first step we need to take today? And what are those steps we need to consistently take to get us to the point of that forest.

Brad Ritter  1:13:03

That’s it, man, just been able to take that goal, work backwards, chop it up into, you know, easy to digest things that you can do daily. And that’s why you don’t going back to how we opened up this podcast, it’s hard work. I’m not saying it’s not hard work. But you got to do you got to put it in, there isn’t that magic pill that you’re going to snap your fingers and boom, you know, but just stick with i, like it will happen? No question in my mind, it will happen.

Clint Murphy  1:13:33

And part of that hard work and part of everything you did at Kokoro, and I’m assuming you do in everyday life is learning that to live your own optimal life and your own version of success, recognizing everyone defines their own success and their own optimal life. But one of the things you learned and I apply as well is the concept that you need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. So what does that look like for you? And how do you embody that on the regular? So that when you do get in an uncomfortable situation, you rise?

Brad Ritter  1:14:19

Great, great question. It’s gonna be different for everybody. But I look at things that you have a little bit of fear of, or you’re scared to do but you know, deep down inside it’s good for me. For instance, that could be public speaking. For me, do I get anxiety and stuff before I’m gonna go on stage? Yeah, absolutely right, because I want to do a great job. But I know it’s good for me. And then more importantly, I think about what if I don’t deliver this message and the person that’s there in the audience was like, just primed to hear it and what if that could actually help them out just a little bit? And I don’t want to do it because I’m scared. No, sorry, I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna walk through that door, I’m I’m gonna, I’m gonna hop on stage. So it depends on, you know what it is you’re fearful of. But this, to me goes to a bigger conversation to about courage, because I’m a believer that courage and fear go hand in hand. And, in fact, I also like to say that those who are the most fearful have the opportunity to show the most courage and be the most courageous. I share this with my son, and daughter every day. But like one of the ways we do that is fear of heights. So like, my son’s got a fear of heights, he’s eight. But we will, like, I’ll pull down the ladder of the attic. And like just even going up, he starts to get all freaked out. But I’m there alongside him coaching him just to kind of get over, get over that. So to be comfortable, while being uncomfortable. And that’s where all these tips and tricks we’ve been talking about. For your listeners, that’s where this comes into play. That’s where the breath control comes into play. Because what happens when we get scared, or we’re in uncomfortable situation, blood pressure usually goes up, heart starts beating faster, maybe you get sweaty palms, so you can feel the redness coming upon you. So breathe, breathe, alright, just remember, fall back in that breath, center yourself, right. And that’s when you start going through that big four mental toughness. But the more the more we put ourselves into uncomfortable situations, that is where the growth happens, no doubt in my mind, the most growth you’re gonna experience in your life is going to come from some sort of adversity, whether you invited that into your life, or unfortunately, it just landed on your face, and you’re just you’re stuck with it, right. But that’s life, we know, we know, life’s gonna hit us in the face. It’s not a matter of if but when. But the great thing for us is today, just like planting a tree, we can, we can plant that seed today. And begin to work towards that. I’m not saying your life’s gonna be easy. But I will say it will be easier if you have a strong foundation to fall back on.

Clint Murphy  1:17:07

And one of the ways you love to challenge people with that one is to say, Hey, have a cold shower every day for 30 days. And see what that’s like. And you know, you can’t, you can’t tell cause you’re on the other end. But I’m here in Vancouver so we’re not as cold as the rest of Canada, we’re but we’re probably about zero to minus five right now. And my office is a separate little building, I call it my man cave in the backyard. And my heater hasn’t worked for a little over a year. So the repair guys are looking for some parts for it. So I’m not necessarily in a cold shower, but I’m pretty frozen. And I’ll do that for an hour and a half. And it usually takes about three hours to record the podcast. It usually takes about three hours before I’m like, Oh, hey, I can make things feel warm again. So it’s just that you know I can make a choice will don’t come out here and record a podcast, find an sub optimal space and wake everybody up in the house at at six in the morning. Or just be uncomfortable for a 90 minute podcast. And then go about your day, warm back up and take it as a take it as a long cold exposure.

Brad Ritter  1:18:24

And then how much do you love coming back into the heat after you’ve been exposed to your cold temperature.

Clint Murphy  1:18:32

I’ll go straight to work today. But the days where you come back where you really realize it or where you go and have the shower, after you podcast and the hot water hits you and all this like it. It’s almost a little painful. You’re like, Oh, I was frozen. So yeah, but I love cold exposure. For some reason. I don’t necessarily love cold showers. But like jumping in the cold plunge for five minutes and you know, going underwater for a minute or so. It just feels magical, like getting under that water and box breathing. Well, you’re not really box breathing. You’re just holding your breath. But but you know, meditating. And it’s just to me, it’s just a magical feeling.

Brad Ritter  1:19:21

There’s a really cool documentary I just started watching called Limitless with Chris Hemsworth. Have you seen that?

Clint Murphy  1:19:29

I’ve seen the preview, but I haven’t started off. It’s worth it. Yeah,

Brad Ritter  1:19:33

Yeah, it’s totally worth it because and I don’t want to spoil it. But basically, he’s looking at ways to increase how long we live, sort of longevity. And research is showing that exposure to extremes whether it’s cold or hot, has a dramatic effect on one’s immune system to ward off disease and stuff like that. So yeah, it’s very, very cool stuff. So yeah, thanks goes on yourself to cold water in a safe manner. And then also, you know, jumping in a sauna or what have you. Yeah, it’s showing some some really, really cool effects. But yeah, to your to your point, how do we how do we get as uncomfortable? Keep it easy. Look at the stuff you take for granted every day. Whether it’s air conditioning or heat ,waking up early, you know, eating, eating the right stuff instead of the sugary, whatever, that’s high level, like, start doing that stuff, you know? Yeah. It’s not easy, but you’re gonna see some some effects over the long run.

Clint Murphy  1:20:34

Yeah, absolutely. And I had another guest on and he talked about, like, with food. He’s like, Well, I’m not a nutritionist, but like, I keep it simple. You know, like, whole natural foods, buy the best option available, eat at the same time every day, like, eat a variety offoods. It’s like, Well, yeah it’s not that hard.

Brad Ritter  1:20:54

Yeah, we’re all different with that, you know, and it’s like, I still eat pizza and have doughnuts and stuff like that, but moderation. Exactly. Yeah, you know, so. So look at moderation. And then when you’re shopping in a grocery store, you know, try to stay on the peripheral, as much as possible, you know, you start going into the guts, well, that’s where the cereal aisle is. And it’s like, I try to try to stay away from that aisle as much as possible, because I know if I go in there, I’m probably walking out with something, same with like the chip aisle. But yeah, load up on, you know, fruits, veggies, you know, whole foods. And yeah, I’m not a nutritionist, but I know what works for me. And what makes me feel good.

Clint Murphy  1:21:28

I love it and so one of the questions I want to end with you before we dive into what we, our version of the Final Four is the when you talk about finding your purpose, like we talked about the whys. But you also talked about something you had read called The Gift method. And you referenced that in your book. Is that something you can share with our listeners so they can start to really dig into their purpose?

Brad Ritter  1:22:02

Yeah, absolutely. So I was at a retreat for dads that was called, it still is “Dad’s Edge Alliance”. Still still around. Shout out to Larry Hagner if he’s listening. But as the name would suggest, it was it’s where dads could go in and work on being being a good dad, you know, because that was something that was important to me. And there was a guest speaker there, whose name’s Tuan Nguyen, and Antoine actually, he lives in Canada. Incidentally, great dude, if y’all don’t know Tuan look him up. But he’s just uber successful. But what I loved about Tuan was his message. And he’s got a big heart, man, he’s just got such a big heart for service. So he’s the one that shared this with me. And it’s one of those things man I wrote it down and just kind of took it to heart. But, you know, as we’re looking, when we’re looking at, you know, purpose, this is one way we can start to examine what might we like doing or what might we be good at? So gift is an analogy. So the G stands for for given by your loved ones, given by God, if you believe in God, or whatever it is you believe in, but what are your natural talents? What are you talented? And what were you born with? And that might be kind of tough to answer. So if it is, because it was for me, ask a loved one, ask your spouse, ask mom and dad, brother, sister, friends, whoever, because they’re gonna know, they’re gonna know what they what they think you’re just kind of like a natural at like, you just you have this natural knack for, I don’t know, making the complex simple, or whatever that might be. Right. So start there. I stands for innate in your soul. So like, what are you constantly thinking about? What do you what do you dream about? Like, what are these going back to what we talked about earlier? If we’ve got 50,000 thoughts popping in our head, and half of them are the same ones as yesterday, what are some of those thoughts? Are there some reoccurring thoughts that keep coming up there? Or maybe there’s some patterns there? You know, so what is my North Star when I have time to, you know, slow that down? And get rid of the noise? What does that say and that I need to do? You know, and really listen to that. So I is innate in your sold, and F which is probably my favorite. F is failures you’ve achieved. Because failing is not bad. Failing is actually how we get better. And it’s time that we reevaluate how we look at failure. In fact, I like to ask my kids throughout the week, what’d you fail at at school today. Cool, because I know if they’re putting in the work, I’m not saying if they’re failing and it’s a good thing with grades, but if they’re putting in the work, or they’re failing at something.  Cool, well, I know that I know they are opening up that mindset, you know, because, you know if they’re making easy A’s and it’s coming super easy, and they’re bored. Like I don’t know if that’s such a good thing either they need to be challenged. So I want my kid’s to experience failure, I want them to know what that’s like I want them to instill and learn what hard work is. So effort or failures that you’ve achieved. And, you know, nothing ventured, nothing gained, oftentimes the things we fail at, and then we come back and we course correct and quote unquote, get right. We can teach that to other people. There’s lots of side businesses that, or even businesses that operate that way, you know, they just they took an existing idea, existing concept, and just made it better, essentially, but I guarantee they’ve had some failures along the way. And they’ve learned from that, and now they get to, like, talk on that, coach on that, have an online course on that, that sort of thing. And then the T is, is just training. So everything we’ve been talking about everything, whether that’s, you know, education, where do you go to school, courses, you signed up for, things you’re reading. What are you trained in, you know, so when you look at all those inside the GIFTS acronym, and write those down, try to see if there’s some patterns there, try to see if you can group those together. And that’ll probably more often than not lead you towards what might possibly be our purpose. It’s just one way you can look at it.

Clint Murphy  1:26:14

I love the failure though, in the way you approach it. One of the things we talk about a bit on the podcast, is just the idea that failure is feedback. And so do with it, what you will.  Learn from it, grow from it, fail as much as you possibly can, and you will be more successful than if you don’t fail at all. And so you got time for final four?

Brad Ritter  1:26:40

Bring it. 

Clint Murphy  1:26:41

These are these are some quick ones that we tried to do with all our guests. What’s one book you’ve read? So we know the video that was a life changer for you? But what’s a book that you’ve read that changed your life?

Brad Ritter  1:26:53

Oh, I would say actually have it right here. Unbeatable Mind by Mark Devine. So well, I don’t think your audience can see it. But Mark’s the creator of SEAL Fit Kokoro Camp.  Unbeatable mind. This book was a game changer. For me. It’s one of those I go back to like every year and read it because things will hit me differently. So I would recommend that to to your readers.

Clint Murphy  1:27:17

And for the reader for the listeners. The cover the cover has, I think its Mark in a staring contest with a wolf, which is pretty darn cool.

Brad Ritter  1:27:28

He refers to that as feeding the courage wolf.

Clint Murphy  1:27:31

Feeding the courage wolf, I love it. So what’s on your shelf right now? What are you reading right now?

Brad Ritter  1:27:37

Oh, man, I’ve got Tribes by Seth Godin. Okay, sure if you’re familiar with but it’s really, really cool, really easy read. And it’s just about how, and I’m only halfway through. But if you look at civilization hundreds of years ago, that’s how we survived was by being parts of groups being parts of tribes. And, you know, nowadays more often than not, it’s like, we don’t even know who our next door neighbors are. And we’ve got all this cool technology, but it’s like, I don’t know what so and so does or what they’re into, or what their kids names are, you know, so it’s all about how important tribes are. And that, again, what we’ve been talking about, we need leaders to step up and lead these tribes, you know, start your own organization, to start your own group, you know, that type of thing. Love it. So yeah, right now I’m reading Tribe. I have a couple, oh, I’m going through Angela Duckworth book Grit for like the third time but I’m doing a we’re doing like a book club with its with mine. So it’s a lot of fun. So yeah, we’re taking a chapter by chapter and reading it and then talking about it in depth over call. So that’s been a lot of fun.

Clint Murphy  1:28:49

I love doing that with people. Yeah. The So what’s one thing in the last 12 to 24 months that you’ve spent 1000 bucks or less on that you wish you had bought sooner?

Brad Ritter  1:29:04

Oh, man. Great question. There’s so many things. I’ve spent money on that I wish I would have bough. The one okay, this so I bought a…so let me backup.  Yeah, good. Yeah, of course. Of course. All right. So throughout my career, I’ve been in sales I’ve been a consultant for since 2003. Basically, I’ve had the fortunate, I’ve been very fortunate because I’ve always had a company car always which is which is awesome you know when it’s not your, I didn’t get to pick what the drive we drove like base model, whatever. And but you know, gas was paid for oil, all that good stuff. And you know, first world problem, right? You’re always like, I kind of like to have something that’s that’s mine. So I took a new job beginning last year, lost the company car, and I was on the car market. Well, if you know about, obviously the supply chain stuff, it’s like the worst time to be buying a vehicle because there aren’t any new ones on the lot, all the used ones are like five to 10,000 more than they usually go for whatever so. And I said, Well, I’m gonna get what I really want. And so I ordered something I’ve had my eye on for a long time, I ordered a Ford Bronco, full size. Okay, full size Alright, took nine months. But what I just got for for the Bronco that I wish I’d done earlier was I tinted the windows, I tinted the front ones. And so that was less than $1,000 the tint, and I’m so glad I did. Because it just it keeps the warmth and more people can’t see in near as much and it’s just, it’s awesome. So that’s my answer.

Clint Murphy  1:30:54

I love it. So you got yourself the truck. 

Brad Ritter  1:30:58

I got myself the truck. I’m usually I’m usually not like that, like I historically always, you know, it’s a vehicle do I want to spend that much but I thought you know, you only live once I saved up for it. I mean, I didn’t pay cash for the entire thing. But I put a significant deposit on it. So it was totally manageable. And I thought this is my, this is my gift to me.

Clint Murphy  1:31:24

Yeah, I get it. I love it. So the show is about growth. And so is your book. So what is one mindset shift, habit or new behavior you’ve adopted in the last 12 months, that’s been a game changer for you.

Brad Ritter  1:31:42

That’s new, or that? Yeah, that’s new. That’s new. Let’s see. Um, okay, this is this is minor. But it’s, it’s a different perspective. And I think it’s good to do this, because sometimes we can get in a rut. So I’m pretty habitual about training and working out, I work from home. So I have the luxury of, I can work out whenever I want. And typically, I would always work out during lunch, that’s just, that’s like my time, just go out in the garage, and I have a gym in my garage. So I’ll just go out and hit it there. What my wife and I have been doing for the last, let’s see, four or five months is, and this goes into morning routine, because it’s good to change those up too. Because you can get stuck in a rut. So my morning routine used to be I’d wake up, slammed some water, which I still do, make the bed, still do that. And then I would do 20 minutes of breath work, meditation, and then start on some passion project, whether it was writing in a journal or reading, whatever, okay, I’ve done that for years, I changed that. And for good reason. My wife and I now wake up together early, and we work out together for about 25, 30 minutes every morning. So nothing crazy. But we’ll we’ll run outside, we’ll ruck, we’ll hop on the exercise bike, whatever. And man, that’s just, that’s been that’s been a real game changer, just being able to share, to share that with my wife. Because the other big thing with that is she’s my accountability partner. And I’m worried because there’s mornings you’re not gonna want to do it. Especially if you live in cold climates, which we do. We’d be in Indiana might not be as cool as you guys. But we’re like, actually, it’s kind of warm here today. It was like 40 this morning, so that wasn’t too bad. But having her as my accountability partner for the morning is just, it’s, it’s awesome. So that’s something that we recently changed up. And I advise that to anyone like if there’s a way, if you’re married, if there’s a way to get your spouse more involved with, you know, things you’d like to do and vice versa, man, Do it, do it, it’s gonna take relationship to a new level.

Clint Murphy  1:33:49

I love that. That’s a beauty. And so we’ve gotten pretty wide and deep through the book. Is there anything that we’ve missed that you want to make sure you leave the listeners with?

Brad Ritter  1:34:02

Here’s what oh, ma.n, how to sum that up. I would say you know, at the end of the day, and I have this my, my wife, my kids pick this out for me. I don’t know if you can see it, but it’s a little like espresso mug. Yeah. And it says Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.  And I have this right here on my desk. So that’s what I would want the listeners to just to remember life truly does begin at the end of your comfort zone. You know, do things, do hard things, do things that are going to put you in uncomfortable situations. And you trust me you’re gonna find out who you are. And you’re gonna grow from it

Clint Murphy  1:34:43

And Brad, where can our listeners find you?

Brad Ritter  1:34:47

Yeah, check me out on my website Schoolofgrit.org, that’s not.com but Schoolofgrit.org and you’ll find like all my contact information there, everything I got going on If you’re interested in joining the coaching group, we’ve got a membership. We’re offering the first three days free actually right now, which is super cool. So if you’re interested in what I’ve been talking about, you want a place to come train, come join me, come join my, my cadre, my guest coaches, it’s a lot of fun. It’s set up like a school, we have calls throughout the month, you kind of sign up for the ones that interest you. And don’t attend the ones that don’t. It’s pretty, pretty easy. But we all get to interact and train together. And then if you are interested in the book, it’s for sale on Amazon. It’s easiest place to get it. So just check out School of Grit and look for my name and hopefully enjoy it.

Clint Murphy  1:35:38

I love it, brother. Thank you for joining me today.

Brad Ritter  1:35:41

Yeah, appreciate you, Clint. Thanks for having me on, bro.

Clint Murphy  1:35:45

Thank you for joining us on the pursuit of learning. Make sure to hit the subscribe button and head over to our website, the pursuit of learning.com where you will find our show notes, transcripts and more. If you like what you see, sign up for our mailing list. Until next time, your host in learning Clint Murphy